True Self False Self

Last night I picked up a newspaper article titled: The True Self vs. the False Self, and was mildly surprised by how insightful it was. So I read it again today.

The argument is as follows: your essential nature is your true self--like God's handmade blueprint of your unique design, with preferences, longings, quirks, and behaviors. External forces from society either enhance or suppress your true self. When they do, you start to live out of your false self, a product of the you that people expect you to be.

We do this because our human desire for positive attention and affection is so strong. "In the course of life, the true self is sacrificed in favor of the false self in order to win approval, acceptance, and love."

So much of who we are is a product of what others have decided about us. However, the way we act might not be who we really are. This dichotomy creates conflict. "When we speak and behave in ways that are different from who we really are there is an internal fragmentation, or split, between the true and false selves."

Ask yourself these questions: Do you have difficulty making decisions? Do you easily fall into peer pressure? Do you feel a nagging sense of emptiness? Do you worry excessively about how others are thinking of you? If you answered yes to all of them, you're probably living out of your false self.

The true self, in contrast, comes with a sense of substance and fulfillment. Some of the people we respect the most are guided by it. They don't need to have a sexy job title to feel important. They don't need to wear designer clothes to feel beautiful. These people walk to the beat of their own drum and if you're not beating along, then, oh well.

Don't you want to be like that?