The rules of communication are slowly being obliterated.
Supposedly 58% of communication is through body language and 35%through vocal tone, pitch, and emphasis. That leaves 7% for all our texting, emailing, and twittering...and I don't know the statistic on this, but judging from my own life, that 7% has to be over 60% of my communication in a day.
In the 7%, I don't feel dishonest when I'm dishonest. I "like" things on facebook that I definitely hate, or at least feel indifferent towards, and I've also noticed that when I'm least interested in what someone says through text, I respond with "haha." How messed up is that. I say it because it's an easy statement that ends a conversation and requires no response.
It's messed up because, while I'm thinking, "I'm so glad to be blowing you off while appearing friendly," they are thinking they're funny.
I'm also fascinated by certain internet creepers. What is the return on investment for chatting a girl every day for a year with no response?
To be fair, it's not like previous generations had it better. Social media didn't exist in Pride and Prejudice times, but neither did deodorant. Still, it's kind of nice that girls could play "Pick-up-Sticks" without stopping to instagram the sticks, and the sticks from a cooler angle, to make the lord who lived 50 miles away want to date them. Because if the lord suddenly wished he was there playing pick up sticks too, he wouldn't be able to get there for another three days. People would travel for hours just to get into town, and to not buy anything nearly as needed as deodorant. Every little thing was inconvenient, and a big deal, and I don't want to whine abut how we're exiting a golden age - but nothing seems to be a big deal anymore.
There's more of everything and it's easier to get all of it. We have a zillion ways to communicate with anyone all over the world, but people are still people, like they were in the stone age, probably confusing each other with drawings in caves, except now we sit in our beds with computers, connected to facebook groups and tribes, managing 1753 "friends," online dating profiles, email, LinkedIn contacts, skype, chat, etc.
But let's be honest, with all our advanced technology, we are probably just communicating poorly with more people faster.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Two Kinds of Light
Matthew 6:22-23
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!"
It's that last line that gets be. "If then the light in you is darkness..."
How could light be darkness?
Unless, there are two different kinds of lights: the kind that come in as light and stays light, and the kind that comes in as light and turns dark.
A commentary I read gave me some insight. It links this part of scripture to a parable Jesus told of workers in a vineyard. They all worked different hours, but their master paid them all the same thing—a denarius. In other words, he was lavishly generous to those who worked only one hour, and he paid the agreed amount to those who worked twelve hours.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!"
It's that last line that gets be. "If then the light in you is darkness..."
How could light be darkness?
Unless, there are two different kinds of lights: the kind that come in as light and stays light, and the kind that comes in as light and turns dark.
A commentary I read gave me some insight. It links this part of scripture to a parable Jesus told of workers in a vineyard. They all worked different hours, but their master paid them all the same thing—a denarius. In other words, he was lavishly generous to those who worked only one hour, and he paid the agreed amount to those who worked twelve hours.
"Those who worked all day “grumbled at the master of the house” (Matthew 20:11). They were angry that those who worked so little were paid so much. Then the master used a phrase about “the bad eye” which is just like the one back in Matthew 6:23. He said, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?” (Matthew 20:15).
Unfortunately that last clause is a total paraphrase, not a translation. “Or do you begrudge my generosity” is a very loose paraphrase of “Or is your eye bad because I am good (ë ho ophthalmos sou ponëros estin hoti egö agathos eimi?)” The “bad eye” here parallels the “bad eye” in Matthew 6:23.
What does the bad eye refer to in Matthew 20:15? It refers to an eye that cannot see the beauty of grace. It cannot see the brightness of generosity. It cannot see unexpected blessing to others as a precious treasure. It is an eye that is blind to what is truly beautiful and bright and precious and God-like....when your eye sees things this way, you are full of light. And if you don’t see things this way, even the light you think you see (the glitz and flash and skin and muscle of this world) is all darkness. You are sleepwalking through life. You are serving money as a slave without even knowing it."
Name The Voices in Your Head
Just when I started making decisions rationally... then there was the Adjustment Bureau.
Movies mess with our heads, because it appears that real life would be just like them. They give us the power to see inside every character's mind, but also the pleasure of sympathizing with their inability to do the same. We know Matt never called Emily because he lost her number. We know Emily really loves Matt even though she got engaged to someone else.
In real life, we can't have that power. We are, like Matt and Emily, confused, hurt, lacking closure, needing affirmation when something doesn't work out. We don't have the privilege of seeing all sides of the story unfold as we're living it.
Sometimes you follow your gut and sometimes you don't, but when should you?
I've made a paradigm that helped me - and might help you.
With any decision, there are multiple voices chiming in their advice: our fears, our desires, our memory, our parents, our stomach aches, our blood rushes to the head, the voice of God himself maybe.
Step 1 is to give those voices a name. I've named mine:
Emotion
Logic
Intuition
Divine Revelation
Before you name them, spend some time and consideration listening to the tone and color of each voice. Take emotion, for instance. As C.S. Lewis said, "Emotions are wonderful servants, but terrible masters." They have a place, but for some of us, they are sitting on a throne. You can't dethrone them without know what they sound like, especially if you're calling them "God" or just ignoring them.
Step 2: take a situation (relationship, work problem, etc.) that has been bothering you, and write it out from the perspective of each voice.
If you only listened to emotion, what would it be saying? If you only listened to the logical procession of events, would the story sound different? If you let your intuition be the only deciding factor, rationality and feelings aside, how would the story go then? What was God whispering to you during the whole process? Was there a scripture, or a verse that kept coming back to you?
Step 3: Read back each story out loud, and see which one sounds like truth.
Step 4: Over time, analyze the results. Which voice seems to be helping you the most? Tune out the others, and start listening to that one.
Movies mess with our heads, because it appears that real life would be just like them. They give us the power to see inside every character's mind, but also the pleasure of sympathizing with their inability to do the same. We know Matt never called Emily because he lost her number. We know Emily really loves Matt even though she got engaged to someone else.
In real life, we can't have that power. We are, like Matt and Emily, confused, hurt, lacking closure, needing affirmation when something doesn't work out. We don't have the privilege of seeing all sides of the story unfold as we're living it.
Sometimes you follow your gut and sometimes you don't, but when should you?
I've made a paradigm that helped me - and might help you.
With any decision, there are multiple voices chiming in their advice: our fears, our desires, our memory, our parents, our stomach aches, our blood rushes to the head, the voice of God himself maybe.
Step 1 is to give those voices a name. I've named mine:
Emotion
Logic
Intuition
Divine Revelation
Before you name them, spend some time and consideration listening to the tone and color of each voice. Take emotion, for instance. As C.S. Lewis said, "Emotions are wonderful servants, but terrible masters." They have a place, but for some of us, they are sitting on a throne. You can't dethrone them without know what they sound like, especially if you're calling them "God" or just ignoring them.
Step 2: take a situation (relationship, work problem, etc.) that has been bothering you, and write it out from the perspective of each voice.
If you only listened to emotion, what would it be saying? If you only listened to the logical procession of events, would the story sound different? If you let your intuition be the only deciding factor, rationality and feelings aside, how would the story go then? What was God whispering to you during the whole process? Was there a scripture, or a verse that kept coming back to you?
Step 3: Read back each story out loud, and see which one sounds like truth.
Step 4: Over time, analyze the results. Which voice seems to be helping you the most? Tune out the others, and start listening to that one.
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