When you think of marriage, it doesn't even seem to fit the "alpha male" nature. When a guy is single and using women, people will say, "He's just being a guy."
It's a shame that our view of masculinity is so base and...animalistic. Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage says that throughout history this trend was reversed. Marriage was actually the means by which males became truly masculine. "For most of Western history, the primary and most valued characteristic of manhood was self-mastery...a man who indulged in excessive eating, drinking, sleeping or sex--who failed to 'rule himself'--was considered unfit to rule his household, much less a polity..."
Our definitions of "what's masculine" and "what's not" are off. As women, we are partly to blame because we expect nothing more of men than their baser qualities and then blame them for not marrying us.
We perpetuate the idea that "guys are just gonna be guys" when that idea doesn't even represent what real masculinity looks like: someone who's affections are not easily moved, someone who knows what they want and is willing to fight for it, someone who is secure enough in his own person to love you selflessly, not because he is trying to fill a void in himself.
A man that can rule himself is truly captivating.
3 comments:
You speak my heart, Lee.
The so-called alpha male strives for power outwardly.
True strength is never acquired. It's nurtured. It's a regular and somewhat painful exercise of physcial + emotional masculine muscle.
Why aren't more men working out?
Go girl! I love this!
here,here.
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