Rejection sucks. It doesn't matter what happened--whether it's your boyfriend, or a crush you went out with once, it always feels the same when they aren't texting you back or you see them with another girl. Everything, just...sucks.
The whole time you're shopping for groceries you're saying to yourself, hmmm...wouldn't it be nice if "so-and-so" was doing this with me? But you can't contact them. Can't sound desperate. So you push the thought away, buy your groceries, and start walking home, and vow to never speak to them again.
You see a cab pull over and decide that you deserve a more comfortable ride home than the gritty subway to resurrect you from the general feeling that everything sucks. He rejects you too.
Then you just stop. Really? The cab driver too? And it's raining? There's just no real reason to go home anymore. Why write a paper. Why scratch the next thing off your to do list. You start throwing a small pity party in the street like a statue wishing something exotic or loud would happen just to get your mind off of it.
Of course, ALL you want to do is text him...and of course...it's the one thing you can't do. But the thought of talking to anyone else at the moment feels disappointingly sub-par. So you resort to thinking about him, until gradually a small glimmer of hope arises at the possibility that...he could be missing you too, at that very moment.
Interesting... although, a bit pathetic... that the best consolation in the moment you feel like everything sucks is the notion that someome else desires to be with you. Humans are relational to the core.
When something happens that reminds you of your frailty--you're very raw vulnerability--you realize how shallow the paper pushing, clean, professional atmosphere is. What we're really after is loving and being loved, and that always involves the messy, risky, deep stuff that real living is made of.
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