Worshipping Nothingness

If the worst evil i feel tonight
Is my aching, desperate longing
I will be okay for it will be
Forgotten in the morning.

I'll wake and start the motion,
While underneath the soil of my soul
Will suffer one more day of
Swift and soft erosion.

In motion I am free.
In forgetfulness, I'm beautiful.
In city lights I change hues
But in myself I am nothing.

I am in love with light,
But I am only shifting shadow

I am dishonest.

Because in stillness I'm a slave
In reality I'm ugly
Just a beautiful invention
Webbed in lies beneath my masking.

And in nights like these, the naked silence
Questions me like tiny mouses eating at my armor
What am I really desperate for?
What am I really longing for?
It's not okay if I am only desperate
It's not okay if I am only longing.
For nothing.